We're Breaking Up

2012. You and I, well, it’s just not working out. I think it’s best if we just let each other go. I think we can both agree that things started off great, but then you couldn’t hide your true colors any longer and it just fell apart.

That’s how I feel; like I’m trying to recover from a bad relationship. I can’t put 2012 into a category. It wasn’t good, damn sure wasn’t good, but I can’t exactly say it was bad either.

It was the first year since 2009 that I haven’t published a book, but I did finish one and am now sending queries, so…

We lost our house, but moved into a nicer house for less money and I have an office so…

I didn’t get any promotions at work, but I did get placed on a task force and introduce a program that now the entire North American Marketing department is going to use so… yeah.

See what I mean? Not good, not bad.

I am older and starting to not like that. Even when I turned 30 I was like, ‘Ehh, whateva.’ But now, 33 is making me unhappy. My heart…is a mixed up place. Always has been and always will be. I maintain that I’m ‘more’ than most people. I’m not normal, well, to those who have to be around me every day. I’m a very normal, even somewhat tame, writer, but I don’t have any other writers in my family so they all think I’m crazy. Really. I’m surprised someone hasn’t tried to have me committed yet. I feel like they all give me sideways glances when I’m buried in a notebook, taking notes on the thoughts that come pouring into my head, or have to refrain from asking me if I’m okay when I start mumbling to myself and shuffle off to my laptop, my story, my soul.

I’m trying to keep my expectations for 2013 pretty low. In fact, I don’t have any at all. All I can do is wake up each day and view it as a new chance to get something right, which at this point, would be a damn miracle.

Advice from me to you:

• Save more money than you spend. Really. You don’t need that Coach purse.
• Keep your focus on who cooks your meals and pays your bills, the rest is just background noise.
• Try something new, go somewhere new, listen to something new…life’s too short for the continuation of the mundane.
• And finally, my personal favorite: It is never too late to become what you might have been.

Happy 2013, everyone!