See your scars as proof that you made it…not evidence that you almost didn’t.

Friday, December 23, 2011

True North; pages 42-46

This is one of my favorite parts of the book. Sahar and Cameron have their first big fight and we meet Dean, who, if I'm being honest, is my favorite character of all. ;)

“Cameron,” I called to him, “Cameron, hey wait up!” His pace never slowed and I had to run full sprint to catch up to him. My calls must have been lost in the wind and that was why he didn’t wait for me. It had to be.

He stopped and spun around, reaching out to grab my arms before I could put them around him. “Sahar, what are you doing?” he asked in a sharp tone.

“I…well, I saw you walking. I’ve called you a million times today, where have you been?”

“My daily whereabouts are none of your concern. I didn’t call you back because I didn’t want to talk to you.” His voice waivered on the last word. Anger? Was he mad at me?

“Have I done something to upset you?” I asked, stepping backward and away from his grasp on my arms.

“No…yes…no… It doesn’t matter. Look, we can’t be together okay. I’m sorry if I made you think we could, but we can’t.”

It wasn’t normal. The way I was feeling, as if his words were a sharp knife that continued to serrate my soul, in long slow movements, dragging out the pain. He kissed me. That was it. There wasn’t a profession of affection or devotion. It was just a kiss. My rational mind was aware of this. My rational mind was telling him that was fine and I didn’t care, to have a nice life. But there wasn’t anything rational about what I felt for him. So my irrational mind won out and I started to cry.

“But why? I don’t understand.” I sniffled and blotted my nose with my shirtsleeve. Attractive.

His demeanor softened at the sight of the tears and he ran his hands through his dark hair. “I don’t want to hurt you, okay. I don’t want anything to ever hurt you. It’s better this way.”

“Too late for that.” Now I was angry. What kind of cockamamie line was that? I don’t want anything to ever hurt you. “Fine,” I said through clenched teeth. “Good luck with the pack. I’m sure that dead body won’t stir up any trouble.” Okay, yes, I know my dad had told me not to say anything, but if you recall, I already mentioned that my rational mind had taken a hike.

He froze. I mean, stopped breathing froze and stared at me, his mouth agape as if he wanted to say something, but had come down with a sudden case of laryngitis.
“Whatever.” I turned and walked away from him. He was still standing like that when I glanced back at him over my shoulder. Good. Served him right.

Night had fallen and the streetlights were on. A soft glow from the storefront windows illuminated the sidewalk as I fought the strong winds walking back to my car. I had to lean into it and therefore did not see the body standing beside the car I was parked next to.

“Oh, I’m so sor…” Oh. My. God. My gaze traveled up the broad frame to meet black eyes that were alive with amusement. “I…I didn’t…”

He laughed, an easy going laugh that made me smile. “It’s all right,” he said. “It was just as much my fault as it was yours, I was looking down.” He kicked the tire of the car he was standing next to and I saw that it was flat as a pancake.

“Do you need a ride?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. I knew this must be Dean. Small town, remember. And he fit the H-O-T description Rachel had given me. Of course I didn’t know anything about him other than the physical reaction my body was having looking at his gorgeous features that rivaled any famous movie star I had ever seen, but what the heck. I dared a look over my shoulder, searching the night for Cameron, but he had vanished.

“Hey, that would actually be great, as long as you aren’t some serial killer or something,” he said.

“I was just hoping the same thing about you. I’m Sahar North. It’s nice to meet you.” I held out my hand and he took it in his, but just held it instead of shaking.
“I know who you are. Dean Anderson, nice to meet ya. That’s really a cool name, I’ve never heard it.”

“Thanks, it’s sort of a family name,” I told him.

He didn’t let go of my hand and I thought about pulling away, but didn’t want to be rude so I just stood there, feeling the warmth of his skin on mine.

“We should get going,” I told him, gently pulling my hand away to grab the car door in a surreptitious manner. “I didn’t expect to work today and need to get home before my dad does.”

I held the passenger side door of the Camry open and he slid in. What are you doing, I asked myself as I walked behind the car to the driver’s side. This was perhaps the single most reckless thing I had ever done. Hey, hot guy, I don’t know, hop on in my car and let’s drive down these dark roads. Ughh.

“Where to?” I asked him once inside and buckled. I knew where he lived, the house on Grover Street, but I couldn’t let him know that. He would think I was some kind of stalker or something.

“896 Grover Street. Do you know where that is?”

“Yeah, sure.” Awkward silence followed. Well, awkward for me. Dean seemed perfectly content with his long legs stretched as far as they could go and his arms pulled back behind his head. I turned the radio on to fill the quiet. My mom was the last person in the car and it was set to an easy listening station.

“Nice tunes,” he said, a note of humor in his voice. “Maybe we can swing by the bingo game over at the rec hall.”

“Sorry, this isn’t really my kind of music,” I told him frantically flipping for something with a beat. “This isn’t my car, I just turned sixteen and don’t have my own car yet.”

He looked over at me, “Huh, you sure look older than sixteen. I guess that means you’ll be going to TNH then?”

“Yeah, junior year for me. What about you?”

“Senior. Finally. I only need one math credit to graduate, then it’s so long to parental domination and hello to my freedom in college.”

“You don’t like your parents?” I asked him, turning on Grover Street. My foot eased off the gas. What was the speed limit on this road anyway?

“It’s just me and my dad and he’s okay, I’m just sick of moving. We move all the time. He works for the government as an environmentalist. They send him all over, testing the ground and shit. Needless to say I’ve been to every rural, nothing town in these here United States. No offense.”

“None taken,” I assured him.

“This is me,” he said, pointing to the driveway off the main road that I was already heading to. It had been a while since I’d come this way, the house was spooky looking in the dark. “Hey, it was nice to meet you, Sahar. I’ll see you on Tuesday. Who the hell starts school on a Tuesday anyway?” He laughed at his own joke and hopped out of the car.

I saw him throw a backward wave as he danced up his driveway to some song he had begun to sing. I think it was something about a bad moon? He seemed to be in an awfully good mood for your average run of the mill I-hate-my-parents-and-can’t-wait-to-get-out-of-here teenager.

He was odd.
I liked him.
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Cameron & Sahar

True North
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Friday, December 16, 2011

Time to Write

I am officially suffering from Literary Schizophrenia. I think I need an intervention. How have I come to such conclusions you ask? Let’s look at the facts, shall we? Currently I am writing:

FireFlys – 66,000
The Lady, The Lake, and The Locket – 23,791 words
Timeless Love – 7,590 words
Dreams – 1,940 words
Be Nice Nerina (Short Story) – 955 words
True North #2 (East) – 765 words

That is a lot of words. Completely…useless…words. One of those could very well be the one. You know, the one that allows me to break out of this mundane life and be a ‘professional’ author – as in, get paid enough to consider it my full-time job. *Sigh* I don’t think it will ever happen, but I can’t give up. I saw this movie once where these people were trapped in this maze and they finally just sat down, giving up, and died. Little did they know that the exit was right around the corner so if they’d just given it that extra ‘umph’ they would have made it. I believe it’s time for me to give it some extra ‘umph’ and finish a damn book. Any suggestions? Lady, Lake, Locket was my Nano idea and when I randomly closed my eyes and pointed to one, that was the winner, but I just can’t seem to get going with it. There is drama in my life (shocker) so perhaps that’s why. I’m so emotionally drained at night that all I want to do is lie in bed with the covers over my head and cry. The only thing to do, is to just make up my mind to do it. Right? Yes, no need to respond. I know I’m right.

So here we go. Here’s the ‘umph’: I will write 1K words a day until I’m done. Not edit. Not revise. Write. Word goal, 60K. Are you with me? Ready? Set… Go!

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Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Hunger Games

My friend Alissa told me to read The Hunger Games three months ago. “I need to do that,” I would tell her. I guess I was hesitant because I don’t like dystopia AND I felt they were only popular because Stephenie Meyer promoted them. Well, when my husband bought me my Kindle Fire (Which I FREAKING love) I had a free month of Prime so I ‘rented’ it from the Kindle Library. No great loss if I hated it, right? Ummkay, let me just say right now Alissa was right and I should have listened to my friend who knows me very well. Oh.My.God. From the moment Katniss took Prim’s spot I was hooked. The way it was written, you could hear the desperation in her voice through the words…amazing. I’m 100% Team Peeta and don’t know how anyone could be team Gale. He’s cute and all and Peta is amazing and has clearly been in love with her for years. Unless Gale pulls out some unexpected move of awesomeness, I’m Team Peeta all the way!
I’m halfway through the second book right now. They are, in a way, better than Twilight. I KNOW, I know… Eclipse is still my favorite book of ever in the history of ever, but these books make you think. Sometimes, I’ll read something the Capitol has done and literally look around for someone to agree with me about the injustice of it all. Could we ever allow this to happen? Would we EVER allow such a thing? Throughout history times of great change have been brought upon by one person standing up and saying, ‘No. This isn’t right, I’m not gonna do it, and I don’t care what you do to me.’  It only takes one brave soul, and usually people will overcome their fear of persecution with what’s right. But what if we didn’t? What if we were so beaten down by a government that we were too scared to do anything? Or even worse, what if some of us sat by allowing these things to happen to millions of others?
Um. Hey. Isn’t that kind of happening right now?  Smaller scale, less broad of a spectrum, but still. We’re far, far away from subjecting our children to a fight to the death but if we don’t make a stand soon, who knows where we’ll end up.
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Thursday, November 24, 2011


Karen Amanda Hooper’s young adult novel, TANGLED TIDES, is officially being released into the world today Well, it's actually being released tomorrow, November 25, 2011 but I'm so excited for her I wanted to go ahead and get the post up! Lots of you are up and starting your Black Friday shopping; I can assure you, the literary lover in your life will shout with joy should they receive this amazing book in their stocking!
 I’m joining the celebration by fighting in the war--the underwater web war between the sea creatures!
Karen’s story contains battling merfolk, selkies, sirens and gorgons. She says she loves all of them, but she wants everyone else to choose a side, so…



Wanna learn more or join in on the fun? Go check out the details at Karen’s blog:

Karen is giving away a signed copy of her book and some other sea creature themed prizes. To enter, join the underwater web war on Twitter. Tweet which sea creatures you’re rooting for and why. Include the hashtag #TangledTides and you could win.

Karen will be on Twitter all day celebrating and answering questions, so stop by and say hello. @Karen_Hooper 

Summary of the story:
Yara Jones doesn’t believe in sea monsters—until she becomes one.

When a hurricane hits her island home and she wakes up with fins, Yara finds herself tangled up in an underwater world of mysterious merfolk and secretive selkies. Both sides believe Yara can save them by fulfilling a broken promise and opening the sealed gateway to their realm, but they are battling over how it should be done. The selkies want to take her life. The merfolk want something far more precious.

Treygan, the stormy-eyed merman who turned Yara mer, will stop at nothing and sacrifice everything to protect his people—until he falls for Yara. The tides turn as Yara fights to save herself, hundreds of sea creatures, and the merman who has her heart. She could lose her soul in the process—or she might open the gateway to a love that’s deeper than the oceans.

Rhemalda Bookstore:

Barnes & Noble:

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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Breaking Dawn

First of all, I’d like to apologize for taking so long to write this. Since it has almost been a week since I first saw the movie, this should have been done this weekend.

I’m sure most of you know the basic plot. Marriage-pregnancy-Jacob-Imprinting-Bella the Vampire. The movie literally ends at the end of the first chapter of Bella’s second section, and I’m so glad they made the decision to break it up. Whoever is responsible for the makeup needs to get an Oscar or Golden Globe or something that says you’re awesome because at one point the I leaned over to Maria the first time I saw it and whispered, “Oh my God, do you think they’re gonna let her die?” Kristen…and for the record I take back everything negative I’ve ever said about her…did an AH-MAZING job. There was this moment where you could see her go from ‘holy crap, I’m pregnant’ to ‘I will kill you if you harm this child.’ I could see it all over her face. That may be an element some of the younger fans miss out on, but as a mother, I really appreciated it.

(Maria and I at the Sneak Peak on Wednesday)

So overall the movie was amazing. I cried and screamed at the screen with the abruptness of the ending, and am thoroughly aggravated at Summit for making me wait a FREAKING year for part two.

(Left - My sister and I on the way in the car; Right – My sister and I waiting in line for the midnight showing)

Now here is, to me, the truly amazing part that I still can’t get over. There were a lot of good songs on the soundtrack and before I saw the movie I thought for sure A Thousand Years by Christina Perri would be the main love theme. But it’s not. Edward and Bella’s song, and I mean their song forever from the moment they met we just didn’t know it then, is this song called, Turning Page by Sleeping At Last. I’ve never heard of them, the song, even passed the song up on the soundtrack as just another pretty tune. When you listen to the words of this song, which is literally about a story of love, it couldn’t be more fitting.

“…your love is my turning page,
where only the sweetest words remain.
every kiss is a cursive line,
every touch is a redefining phrase…

I surrender who I've been for who you are,
for nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart.
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours,
well, I would have known what I've been living for all along.
What I've been living for…”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? How, HOW I ASK YOU, have I not heard this song before? WHY are there not any fan videos on YouTube with this song? (Well, there may be now) I’m sure you’re aware of my connection to music, especially if you’ve read The Maldito Series. For me, there is always music; on the radio, the sounds of the world moving to the beat of my heart, the song in my head. This is one of those songs that will become a part of you, that can move and inspire you, just the way Twilight can. “Words can change your mood but add a little music and they can move your very soul.” ~ Me

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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

For once, I’m happy to have failed

I’m sure most of you know that I tried to kill myself when I was a senior in high school. It was a messy affair and I was taken away from school in a police car to the hospital where I was tied down – because that is apparently what they do to folks who have decided it’s too painful to continue living, they tie them down – and left in a room. My father was the first person to get there. I can’t for the life of me remember his expression or if he seemed upset, but I do remember the first words that came out of his mouth. He looked at me and said, “Well, girl, are you sorry now?” My response? Because even then it was imperative that I conduct myself with as much drama as possible I replied, “I’m sorry it didn’t work,” and turned my head to the wall so he wouldn’t see me cry.

Whoa, that was kinda heavy, even for me typing it out. But I have a point. The date of this little event in my life, though I had forgotten the exact date until recently, was November 18, 1996.

I’ll pause to let that sink in.

NOVEMBER 18th. Do you know what’s happening exactly fifteen years to the day that I tried to remove myself from this world over some high school BULL SHIT? Breaking Dawn is being released. Hey! Don’t roll your eyes at me. You’re clearly missing the point here. The point is, I can’t even begin to fathom all of the amazingly, wonderful things I would have missed if it had worked.

Sometimes the clouds cover the sun and we forget how beautiful things can be. Things are gray; they lose their luster and their shine and all we see and feel are the bad. The thing about clouds though, is they never stay in the same spot too long. Ever. They always fall apart or move along with the wind and when they do, wow things are bright! That’s how it was for me. Life, as it turned out, wasn’t so bad. I can’t tell you how sorry I feel for those people who continuously reminisce about high school. There was a line in I Am Number 4, “He’s in the third year of the best four years of his life.” When you think that an average life spans over eighty+ years that is a sad, sad thought. Twilight came along when I was about twenty-eight or twenty-nine and once again, things got a little brighter. Finishing my first novel, Emmy’s Song was in direct response to the words ‘The End’ at the back of Breaking Dawn. Four published novels later I just marvel at the world and how it sparkles (hehe) with possibilities for the rest of my hopefully very long life.

The pain I felt at that time in my life was very, very real. The love I felt then was very, very real. But what was exaggerated was the feeling of forever, or perhaps just such little knowledge of how long forever really was. If you know a teenager who is hurting, don’t discredit what they feel. Don’t tell them they’re just young and this will pass, and blahh, blahh, blahh. Tell them…about me. Tell them that if I had let those four years take away the rest of my life I would have never had Twilight and really, whose life is complete without a little Twilight? =)

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Sunday, November 6, 2011


This is not procrastinating. Did you hear me? I know exactly what the other 700 words I need to write today to keep up with my Nano word count will be, so there is no way this could be procrastination, right? Man, maybe it is. Well, oh well.

My husband and I just had our ten year wedding anniversary. Yes, I’m thirty-two. Yes, I got married when I was twenty-two. It seems young, I know, but I’m from Bryceville. That’s what you did. You fell in love, got married, had some babies, and lived happily ever after. Now, while I’ve got the corner on the whole happily ever after thing, all that stuff in the middle could have waited.

I wouldn’t recommend getting married so young, the person who I am now doesn’t even remotely resemble the person I was then. My husband, he’s a simple man. He has grown over the years, but he’s still quintessentially ‘him.’ Me? Not so much. I’ve seen some of my friends wait until they were older and it seems to have been a little easier for them; not as much drama. Of course, they were normal, non-writer folk, so I’m sure things would have been less dramatic for them regardless. My only advice is don’t compromise on that one thing that’s really important to you; whatever it is. We all have that one thing, that one deal-breaker. The one who won’t break the deal is out there, I promise. Just hang on.

So…work. Oh, work,  you mock me so. I think you all know I work for a professional staffing firm in the proposal department. My boss is Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde, which is hard for me on the Hyde days but Ah-mazing on the Jekyll days. But, what are you gonna do, right? That’s what happens when you work for a woman, case in point why a woman should never be president. Yeah, yeah, I know women’s lib and all that jaz. Anyway, I’ve been doing a lot of on-demand writing and people tend to change the best parts because it’s just out of the normal thing they would do. I would bet money if they’d show some of those things to the branches who are actually responsible for this content we’re presenting to the client at the end of the day, they’d love it. And I know this and am willing to bet money because I already asked some of them and they loved it. So Nah. I’m a peacock! You gotta let me fly! (Mark Wahlberg – The Other Guys)

Like I said, this is not procrastination. This is assimilation in its purest form. These words and thoughts are becoming a part of my inspiration. Right? Well, oh well.
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Monday, October 24, 2011

True North #2

So this is where I'm thinking about going with True North #2 that is going to be called East something...I just don't know what yet. Thoughts?

After discovering that the counsel had been lying to the people of True North for hundreds of years, Sahar and those closest to her managed to set things right. Now Sahar has taken her place as the white wolf and monarch of the town. She is determined to make sure things never go back to the way they were.

But this story isn’t about Sahar.

Rachel Hill has been Sahar’s best friend her entire life so of course she was right by her side when the you-know-what hit the fan two years ago. But, that was two years ago. Rachel is on the tails of a bad breakup with Sahar’s twin brother, Dean, and has pretty much had it with True North and everyone in it. The morning she’s planning to make her big break, she’s told that Sahar has vanished without a trace. Rachel thinks Sahar caught wind of her plan to leave, but when they find droplets of her blood in the woods, she’s not so sure.

On the hunt for her best friend, Rachel is also trying to prevent Dana, Sahar’s cousin, from taking over the town in her absence. She can’t do it all alone and once again, Dean, Cameron, Luke, and Tessa will pitch in to save the day.

But sometimes, the day can’t be saved.
Sometimes, they day was dead right from the start.
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Wednesday, October 19, 2011


I’m sure you’ve all heard of NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month, or Month of the Crazy. I’ve given it a shot the past two years and haven’t been able to finish either time. Now, I did finish and publish those novels, just not in a month.

My problem: I have the patience of woman in labor on her way to the hospital. As in, none. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I don’t know why I’m like that, but I am. I’m not the writer that I could be because I always submit my second draft. That’s right. My I-just-went-back-over-it-for-spelling-and-such draft. So when I write I feel like it’s the end all, beat all. But it’s not. Rule number one for NaNo is to give yourself permission to write a really crappy first draft. So I’m going to do that. I’m not going to edit the last chapter before I start on the new chapter; I’m just going to write. To be successful at this I will need to make a really good outline. I usually do a loose chapter by chapter outline but this is going to be firm, detailed, and orderly so I can just write. 50K in a month. DONE!

I will be writing the sequel to True North. I didn’t know if there was going to be one or not but it seems folks like it so…what the heck right? I’m doing a North, East, South, West thing which means this will be East. I have no idea what I’m going to call it yet, other than True North #2. lol Suggestions welcome.

One last note. I received a promotion at work and am now a Jr. Proposal Writer. I’m still teetering between my old job training the new person, and my new job, but I hope to just be doing my new job by the first of next year. So in essence…I’M GETTING PAID TO WRITE! =) *Happy Dance* Now, it’s not very creative. “Clear and Concise.” That’s what they keep telling me but I can’t help throw in some Christy Flair every now and then. I hope everyone has purchased their copy of True North, but if you haven’t, here’s the link for Amazon:

Also, I’ll be doing a Monthly guest blog on my publisher’s site which you can see here:

I’ll be gracing the monitor of a computer near you every 25th. I do expect to see you there.

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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Unraveling of a Yellow Shirt

I have this favorite shirt that I wear all the time. It’s yellow (my favorite color), fits me perfectly (just lost some weight so yay), and has pretty detail on the front. The problem is, the pretty detail has begun to unravel. I haven’t snagged it on anything so the culprit can only be the washing machine. And while I admittedly wear it more than perhaps intended, they knew it was going to be washed when they made it, so why didn’t they make it stronger, more durable?

Yesterday while sitting at my desk wondering how I would make it through every day without my Christopher, I began to question God in the same manner. Why didn’t he make my heart more durable? Isn’t this what it was made for? To love? To express kindness and allow people to become close to you? So why I ask you does it come unraveled so easily? Admittedly I may use mine more than his average creation but still, he knew. He knew and he should have made my heart stronger, me stronger.

But he didn’t. So I feel unraveled and hope someone has a needle and thread. I’ll be needing it.

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Monday, October 3, 2011

And the winner is...

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Friday, September 30, 2011

Happy Release Day To Me

**Extended! Some folks were having trouble posting from their phones and such, so I'm extending this through Monday 10/3! And let's make it a $20.00 Amazon gift card, shall we!***

Hi! You’re here! Oh my gosh, I’m so excited you came by!! Today is the release of my fourth novel, True North. It’s about a small town in Colorado where everyone is a shape shifter…except Sahar. It’s a story about standing out rather than fitting in, fighting for what you believe in, and of course, a hot boy with blue eyes. Yeah, I have issues. I know.

In honor of this most excellent occasion, I have decided to give away a free copy of True North and an Amazon gift card. To enter, just leave a comment below and let me know you’re interested.

Again, thanks for stopping by and good luck!

True North -

Add True North to your ‘To Read’ list on Goodreads!

Oh and here’s a little excerpt from True North to wet your whistle.

“I’m always around, Dawn. Whether you know it or not. We are one in the same, you and I.”

“What if I don’t want you around?” I asked.

“Then you’re going to die. Plain and simple.” He held up his hand and my necklace dangled, swaying this way and that in the breeze. How did he get that?

“Give it back,” I demanded. “It’s mine. You gave it to me.”

He began to hum that same damn song and placed the necklace in his pocket. When he turned his back to me, I could see the horrible gash that traveled the length of his spine. Blood dripped down his legs, staining the snow around him. I could smell it, it was…heavenly. My mouth began to water and I was down on my knees, stuffing the hot snow in my mouth. He began to laugh and then I began to scream.

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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Baby Kitties and Pricker Bushes

While driving home in a panic yesterday, I saw two baby kitties on the side of the road. I was in a hurry because I had to get home and fax a New York hotel a credit card authorization form for a friend at work. Once that was completed (and trust me she should feel really special that I put that over the kitties), I went back to try and get them. There are three; two black and one gray, and they are as big as my hand. I was so close to getting them it was just heartbreaking. My husband took me back up there when the rain slacked a bit, but no luck. So of course, they’re all I can think about.

I’m telling y’all right now, if I ran this country, anyone who hurt kids, animals, or old people would be killed on the spot. If two grown-ass men are fighting and someone gets stabbed or shot, whatever. Shit happens. Let’s have a trial and all that. The person guilty of that crime isn’t necessarily a bad person, they just got in a bad spot. ANYONE who hurts a child, animals, or old people CANNOT be rehabilitated. PERIOD. They prey on weak victims because they are sick in the head and need to dominate something. I would be like, ‘You did what? Booocahoowhhh!’ (That was me kicking them in the head and then shooting them.)
After two afternoons of crawling around in the pricker bushes, Cameron getting attacked by fire ants, and Myron ripping his tie, I have come to the conclusion that the baby kitty doesn’t like me. This is a very hard fact for me to accept because ALL CATS LIKE ME. I am sad.

Well TRUE NORTH comes out on Saturday. At least I’ve got that going for me. Below are pics of the kitties that still love me.

Gary the Cat



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Monday, September 12, 2011

True North Release and Amazon Gift Card Giveaway

On October 1st, True North will be available to purchase. In honor of this occasion I will be giving away a $15.00 Amazon Gift Card and a FREE eCopy of True North. Though the Maldito Series will always hold a special place in my heart, I am very excited to begin something new. Is this a series? Well, it wasn’t supposed to be. The story itself is singular, told from start to finish, beginning-middle-end all in one book. The characters, however, don’t seem to be accepting that. So we shall see where this small Colorado town takes me. Wherever it is, I hope you come along for the ride!

True North Release and Amazon Gift Card Giveaway
Date: October 01, 2011
Join me on October 1st for the release of my new novel, True North! I’ll be giving away a $15.00 Amazon Gift Card and a FREE copy of True North. What does it take to enter? Check my blog: on October 1st to find out! Hope to see you there!

Trying to make it out of high school alive – Difficult.
Being the only human in a town of Shape Shifters – Challenging.
Figuring out where you really belong (with the help of the hottest guy you’ve ever laid eyes on) - Priceless.

True North

*Add True North to your ‘To Read’ list!

See who else going and get more info:
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Friday, August 19, 2011


I’ve spent the past few days trying to sneak WriteOnCon into my daily life. Oh, who am I kidding? I’m not all that great with the secrets and lies so pretty much everyone I work with knew what I was doing over here in my corner of the world. I work with a group of technical writers, so I suppose they get it.

I learned a lot. Like, a lot, lot. It’s always nice to mingle with other folks going through the same things you are and remind yourself, hey…maybe this is worth it. This beating your head against a brick wall because you could have sworn you saw a crack and you just know that sucker’s going down any moment now. Okay, maybe it’s not that extreme, though I do feel that way sometimes. I know this for certain: I have never wanted anything more in my entire life. I’ve never had career aspirations, I’ve never been one to try and climb the corporate ladder. You have to write your goals at work and I’m always like, um.. yeah, don’t gouge my eyes out with a pen. That’s my day –to-day goal. LoL I want to be a writer. No, scratch that. I am a writer; I don’t give a shit what you people say. I AM a writer. I want to have a career being an Author. I want to get paid to stay home and immerse myself in this world in my head, and attended classes and conferences. I want to go to charity events and raise money for animal shelters, I want someone to stop me on the street and say, “Hey, didn’t you write that book XYZ?” And the thing about it is, I know I could help people, well, at least teenage girls. I KNOW I CAN. If they could hear me, hear my story, I know it would help someone. One day. I mean it folks, one day I will have this life. But I digress…

WriteOnCon was a great experience! My favorite video was about not giving up. You can watch that here:

I also managed to get a request for 50 pages and a synopsis by the amazingly wonderful Christina Hogrebe (see it was meant to be, we even have the same name!) so that was awesome. Who knows if anything will come of it but she said, and I quote:

“#51. I hope you’ll introduce conflict that will take this fish out of water setup to the next level, but the writing is beautiful. The nostalgic tone promises something heartbreaking. Send me 50 pgs and synop by email.”

Don’t even front like that’s not awesome, cuz you know it is!

I’m going through massive revisions on FireFlys and I am still in edits for True North (out 10/1/11). I love it. Now, if the rest of my life could just catch up. Maybe I’ll be like Ms. Harry Potter and get that deal just in the nick of time – you know, like soon. ;)
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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Definition: Curmudgeon

So there was this guy (no, not THE guy), this other guy, from high school. I met him the summer before ninth grade and liked him right away. He was very cute, sweet, funny, smart, did I say cute? He lived in my neighborhood and we…I don’t even know what to say…we would ride bikes and kiss on the golf course, that was really the extent of it. When school started I began dating this other guy, Nick, and Neighborhood guy tried to win me back for a while. I had moved on though, so I didn’t think twice about it. Well, cute boys tend to get cuter as they grow and by our Sophomore year, I was regretting the whole Nick thing. We went back and forth, even during THE guy, and definitely in the aftermath of THE guy. One incident really sticks with me though. Directly after THE guy, I started dating this other fella named Cale. (Yes, that’s where I got the name) Cale was sweet but when he was mad, whoo… you better watch out. One night, we got in a fight and he pushed me into the doorframe of his truck. I’m not sure if he meant to hurt me but I was hurt just the same. The next thing I know, people are telling me Neighborhood guy went and jumped in his face telling Cale he would regret it if he ever laid a hand on me again. At this point, Neighborhood guy and I weren’t even speaking since he was ‘popular’ and thanks to my Wicked Witch of the North (True North reference. Pick it up 10/1/11 to see what I’m talking about) I no longer was. I have no idea how Neighborhood guy found out. Later that year, I may or may not have taken something special from Neighborhood guy, though I admit to nothing. To be honest, I felt like I’d taken advantage of him then, and then again this other time at a party because neighborhood guy has HUGE feet. And you know what they say about boys with big feet. Yeah, big shoes. ;)

After graduation I saw Neighborhood guy a few more times, just as friends. Then he moved. Fast forward about six years to the world of Facebook. Here he is. I’m excited to see him. Friend request him and I get this LOOOONG email that he doesn’t feel like we should be friends out of respect for his wife and that he didn’t treat me the way someone should be treated. I’m utterly dumbstruck reading this then I think okay maybe his wife is a ‘you can’t be friends with old flames’ kind of wife. But when I look on his page, he is friends with old flames. Just not me. So I’m left to wonder where we went wrong and miss him because he was that guy that always got under my skin. He was that friend that would always tell me when I was being ridiculous and apparently, stick up for me, even when I didn’t know about it. I dream about him sometimes and it makes me sad. Like, really, wake up crying sad. I don’t know why. I dreamt about him last night. We were in Alaska with his parents and little sister camping and it was very cold. Totally random, I haven’t thought about him in a while so I don’t know why I dreamt of him last night. It just makes me sad and I wish I knew whatever it was that I did to make it so easy for him to forget me.

You give these little pieces of your heart away all of your life and very rarely do you get them back. I think that’s why old people are so grumpy.
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Saturday, July 23, 2011

Aliens and Technology

So last week, was good. I signed the contact for True North and was told my release date is 10/1/11. Yay. It’s eBook which now that I have a Kindle is the only kind of book I myself purchase but unfortunately, my family still doesn’t consider that being published. I’ve read quite a few news articles this week about the collapse of the publishing industry thanks to Amazon (and said Kindle) but I don’t think it will ever die completely, do you? I think that would be sad. Partly because I still want to see my book on a shelf in a store and partly because there are just some aspects of our lives that technology should stay out of. There’s this show called Falling Skies (my husband is a huge alien person so he makes me watch all this stuff) about an invasion and the first thing they did was disable all of our technology, electricity, everything. So people have to adjust to life without computers and phones. I love this show and not for the alien aspect. I love it for the social aspect. Things are upside down. People like, pretty much everyone I work with are useless. They are nothing, have no meaningful skills to keep themselves alive. Now people like mechanics and construction workers are the invaluable ones. It’s very interesting to see society flip like that and I think the show is very well written and well done. Just FYI, here’s the link to the website:

I’m really going to try and promote True North. I think it’s a good story, something different at least, and I really want to make some money for my publisher since they continue to support me despite my shortcomings. I’m finishing up FireFlys and will be submitting that to TLT Publishing. I really want to be a part of that family and I’m just praying that I’m good enough.

Welp, that’s about it for now. Hope everyone has a good week!

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Thursday, July 14, 2011

Waiting to Wake up

I think there’s something wrong with me. No, like, really wrong with me. I feel like I’m walking around in a dream waiting to wake up and live. Everything is either too difficult or too simple. There is this state of mind called contentment. It’s this perfect harmony of well being where you don’t lie in bed at night and worry about everything, and you don’t look in the mirror and want to vomit, and you don’t have to force yourself to put the brush down so that you don’t beat yourself in the head until you are bloody with it. I couldn’t be further away from that state of mind. Okay, now, to be clear, I’m not sad. I love my husband and my son. But I’m just…I don’t know. Hell, maybe that’s the problem. I don’t know what is wrong with me.

Things are really hard right now since my husband lost his job and we’re having a hard time (meaning we’re not) keeping up with the bills. I haven’t had to worry about money stuff in a while and it freaking sucks. I mean it’s this all consuming worry that makes it hard for me to breathe. And I’m so mad about stupid little things. Things like, I didn’t get to do anything for my birthday, and I can’t get my hair done (see above about the beating in the head with the brush), and I can’t eat out for lunch. I’m so mad about these things. Downright resentful.

And then there’s work and all I’m going to say about that is never, ever, ever, ever work for your best friend. EVER.

So again, I’m back to waiting to wake up because this has to be a dream. This cannot be my real life. This…thing…that I do day after day, this has to be some sort of alternate reality and any moment now I’m going to wake up in my cozy and romantic bed with tall tapered posts draped in sheer silk, on the second floor of my country style cottage in Bryceville. I’ll roll to the left and see a copy of my most recent novel sitting on my nightstand and then roll back to the right and see the handsome face of my peaceful and employed husband. Any moment now.
Cute Girl is Sleeping Pictures, Images and Photos
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Saturday, July 2, 2011

Thick Skin

To be an author you’ve got to have some thick skin. Reviewers slam you, agents tell you no, doors are shut in your face, but you have to keep going. These things don’t bother me. I’m all about a bad review because it makes me a better writer. Every no I get from an agent is one more answer closer to a yes. I’ve been told I’m thickheaded so maybe that’s why the whole door slamming business doesn’t faze me either.

For me, the hardest thing to endure is my own self-doubt. There are various people in my life that contribute to this, but really it’s all me. This is what aggravates me about me. So, yes, we’re broke. My husband lost his job and we’re just barely getting by. I use this as an excuse for everything. Why won’t I go to the writer’s conference here locally? We can’t afford it. Why won’t I take some classes? We can’t afford it. And to be honest, no, we can’t afford it but I can still find ways to make myself a better writer. There are plenty of online groups, conferences, forums and other such things I could take advantage of.

I have a lot to learn. Since I tried to commit suicide my senior year, college just wasn’t in the cards for me. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I just wanted to get a job and get out of my house. Well, I did. And now here I am...a lot… of years later and though I’ve made peace with myself, I really wish I had an education. I have a strong connection to YA because it’s probably the only thing that got me through those months when my world was so dark. I want to write YA for YA, not like most of it is these days and YA for adults that like YA. I want to reach out from the pages and give that reader a place to escape and a glimmer of hope, that things won’t stay the way they are forever, even if it feels that way.

I’m going to keep at it, oh don’t you worry about that. I’ll always keep at it because writing is my escape and glimmer of hope that things won’t stay the way they are now forever, even if it feels that way.

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

A Little Reminder

STOP. Before you continue, it is imperative that you read this or you will not understand a word I’m saying. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

The question is… “Who am I?” The answer is of course very simple and was there all along. I am…me. The problem wasn’t that I didn’t know who I was, it’s that I didn’t like who I was. There was this person that would stare back at me from the mirror and I would cringe. You’re ugly, you’re stupid, you’re nothing, I would tell the girl. She never fought back and the abuse continued. Then the girl would foolishly turn to those around her and expect them to fix her. Being “Their daughter, her friend, his girlfriend, his wife, his mom” was just an excuse to avoid being the only thing I could be which was and is, MYSELF. Since this post I have published two novels and am currently finishing the third in my series. Fate has been a very large part of these books and somewhere in between Emmy’s Heart and the first few chapters of Sarah’s Fate I managed to find Christy’s courage. The courage to look within myself for happiness because, honey, the only person that can make you happy…I mean truly happy, is you. And before you can love someone else…I mean truly love them, you have to learn to love yourself. And I have. Do I still have my days? Of course. I’m still a girl. But now when I look around me I see my parents, and my BFF, and my honey, and my son and I am happy.

For my 31st birthday I have decided to get a tattoo of the word believe over the scar on my wrist. Why believe? Because that’s all we have. The only thing that cannot be taken away from us is our ability and capacity to believe. Believe in fate, in God, in love, in unicorns, in vampires. Without that, without something to hold onto and believe in, what are we? What do we have but empty spaces inside of us longing to be filled? So now when I’m brushing my teeth or putting on my Twilight bracelet I won’t see a scar. I’ll see my husband’s face, and my son’s smile. I’ll hear Maria laughing and Courtney talking in her funny guy voice, (you really should hear that, it’s hilarious) and think the words ‘published author’ because at the end of the day, I believe in me.

I will never forget my first love or the pain I felt and I’m glad. Because without that, without everything I’ve been through, what the hell would I write about? ;)

Hi, I’m Christy. I’m a published author with a “gift for tense and revealing dialogue” (I didn’t write that, it’s from a review of Emmy’s Heart) and more stories to tell. I’m the mother of a great kid and the wife of a very hardworking man. I’m friends with some amazing girls (and guys) and am happy to say, have stopped abusing the girl in the mirror. It's nice to meet you.

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Thursday, June 2, 2011

A Real Broken Heart

Being told by one's mother to stay the hell away from her, that you are a (insert inappropriate curse word here) idiot and that she doesn’t care what you do from here on out would be upsetting to most folks. And while I was upset on May 31st when I was told these things by mine, I am unfortunately used to it. All of my life I have been at the mercy of her verbal berating. From being told I was a slut and a bitch in high school to being told that I should drive my car off the road because my son would be better off with her for a mother (in front of my son who was seven at the time) more recently, she’s always been like that. Now if it was just a simple matter of her hating me, well, I might be able to come to terms with that and let it go…but no. There are always sporadic stints of wonderful thrown in to make the not so wonderful fade until of course it happens again and I’m left to wonder what the hell I’ve done wrong…again. This time it all came down to furniture. She was unhappy with the way that I chose to use the dresser she gave me (Cameron) when Cameron was born. Please note – we purchased him brand new furniture when we moved in our new home, furniture which he threw a fit for. The dresser she gave us was in the spare room and well, that was just unacceptable. There’s more, of course. I don’t appreciate anything she does for me. Frankly, other than saying thank you (which I do) sending flowers (which I’ve done), and dedicating my first FREAKING novel to her, I really don’t know how I’m supposed to show said appreciation.

We’re not speaking right now, I told my dad that I couldn’t deal with her until she was off her pain meds (which I think she is addicted to and are making her extra special crazy) and we are just making concessions until school is over as she has watched my son up until this point. Clearly, that’s over now though. There are two sides to every story, I’m not perfect and I’m sure I’ve done something unforgivable at some point but I can promise you this folks, when she is old and alone and she realizes that she threw me away because of furniture she will regret it. But it will be too late then. Way too late.

sad little girl Pictures, Images and Photos
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Monday, May 16, 2011

There is a scene in Sister Act 2 that plays over and over in my mind when I start to doubt myself as a writer (so basically, like, all the time) where Whoopi is talking to Lauren Hill who is having a hard time admitting she is a singer and in this conversation she says:

"…Don't ask me about being a writer. lf when you wake up in the morning you can think of nothing but writing...then you're a writer.
I'm gonna say the same thing to you. If you wake up in the mornin' and you can't think of anything but singin' first...then you're supposed to be a singer. Girl."

While I do love to sing, what I think about when I wake up is finding time that day to sit down and write. I begin to scheme about eating lunch at my desk and getting Cam to bed early. I think about my characters and listen as they have funny conversations that play out in my head. I obsess over everything I write as I didn’t go to college and just recently learned that cannot is one word and can’t spell for poop. So, according to Whoopi (or the writers of Sister Act 2) I’m meant to be a writer. Now, to be clear, no one said anything about getting paid to be a writer, they just said that in my heart, to give my soul a voice and live my life to the fullest, I need to write. So…I write. And then I delete. And then I write again. And then I cry because it sucks.
But, I write because that is who I am, what I want to be, and the legacy I want to leave.

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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Paper Cuts

If you follow this blog, which would be damn near a miracle in and of itself, you are aware that I have begun to print large documents at my day job. Let me say, it is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be as all the peeps I work with are totally stepping up to the plate and taking responsibility for their own stuff, but it’s still not the best thing in the world. I’ve already got some paper cuts and looking down at the microscopic serrations of my skin I had a thought.

Most of my ‘problems’ are paper cuts.

Annoying, sometimes painful, little things that inhibit my day-to-day routine for a week or so and then heal up. Isn’t it funny how those little cuts are all we can think about when they first happen, be it the pain when they come in contact with water when we wash our hair or the funny feeling when we type, but after a while, we forget where they even were. I look around me and see people with downright gashes in their skin, and they don’t whine as much as I do, or complain as much as I do. Shame on me, right. Yeah, shame on me. Like my granny always said, “Well, you can just scratch your tail and get glad.” (I don’t know, I grew up on a dirt road people.)

Things could always be worse. I still have my little sticky that says blessed in my line of sight. I also have 3 things that say believe (4 if you count my wrist) so when I start to get down about my little paper cuts I always have something reminding me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Look around. Are you dealing with paper cuts or gashes? Either way, you’ll find the strength. We always do.

Zelda cat Pictures, Images and Photos
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Monday, February 14, 2011

Why I Love Him

To my wonderful Wife:

More often than you know, during an ordinary moment, I look at you and forget all the stuff that clutters our lives. The jobs, the bills, the schedules, the routines all fade away and I just see you - this absolutely wonderful woman who I'm lucky enough to have by my side.

I know I don't tell you often enough but I really love the life we've made - with all its ups and downs, its twists and turns. I love it because I love the woman who's at the very heart of it all - you, my wonderful wife.

My Valentine's card from my honey. Ten years this November and I love him more now than I ever have before. <3

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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Good Life

It’s all about attitude. I know that’s cliché but it really is. I listen to Christian radio, because you know, I’m a Christian, and this morning there was a lady on that said we need to stop taking things for granted in our lives. The majority of humans on this planet live on $2.00 a day. No matter how bad it is, we can always find something to be grateful for. As you all know, I’ve just been a big ball ‘o negativeness about my job lately and that mindset needs to change. At least I have a job. At least I have a good income even though I don’t have a degree. At least I love the people I work with. At least I always get the tools I need to get my job done. At least there’s Ed (you don’t know him but trust me when I say he is a benefit). The list goes on and on. I’ve made little sticky notes that say things like ‘is it really that bad?’ and ‘blessed’ and posted them in various lines of my sight. I am determined to maintain this positive attitude no matter what may come my way. If at the end of the day, I’m not the girl for the job then so be it but there’s no point in me whining everyone to death. I have a great job, on the brink of our ten year anniversary, I love my husband now more than ever, and my son is gifted. Life is Good.
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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Jonathan Rhys Meyers is making me miss my deadlines

So let's just forget for two seconds that he's the best looking man God ever graced us with, he's also an amzing actor AND pretty much every male lead in all my books..

Cameron in True North - "He was an Alpha so naturally he was tall and every muscle was chiseled out of stone. He had black hair, the bluest eyes God had ever blessed any of his creations with, and a smile that could chase away the clouds on a rainy day." Um hummm.

jonathan rhys meyers Pictures, Images and Photos

I can't stop watching videos about him like this one:

God Help Me.
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Sunday, January 2, 2011

Year in Review

happy new year Pictures, Images and Photos

Wow, what a year. I look back and think of all the things that happened, yet it seems to have flown by. 2010 was one of my best years, personally and emotionally. Though I published two books this year (three total), I wouldn’t say I’m any closer to being a famous author nor have a gained any ground at my day job as a Sales Coordinator…but let’s stick with the positive, shall we?

I met my overall goal I set for myself in 09 of finding out who I was. It was a great sense of peace to realize that I’d been here all along; one can begin to question ones sanity when one has thought to have lost oneself. Cameron was tested and subsequently passed into the Gifted program. In addition to proud mom feelings, I was relieved in general. I have always said the kid was odd. And now I know why. He’s just really freaking smart. Things have been better since he’s been able to interact with his peers who are on the same intelligence level. You see, Gifted doesn’t mean he’s a genius. It just means his capacity for learning is above average and therefore his brain needs more stimulation than that of your typical seven-year-old. As the sign on his Gifted teacher’s door says, “He’s not weird, He’s Gifted.” Hummm, what else? Well, my list of small personal achievements that would mean nothing to you is rather long. Things like; I learned that cannot is one word, or what a curmudgeon is, or the vibration of matter and it’s correlation to the possibility of other dimensions (Ancient Aliens on the History Channel. Good shit.). These are things I consider small victories…knowledge. I have said before and I’ll say it again, the only thing I learned in High School was how to cry myself to sleep. It was a complete and utter waste of my time and as you all well know, very nearly took my life. As I have grown, I have learned so much more and I wish I had gone to college and had a different educational experience. You bet your tail that Cameron is going, though seeing as how he is smart, I’m sure he will want to anyway.

Lessons I’ve learned that you may find helpful: Not everyone is what they portray themselves to be online. You have to be very, very careful when making online friends, people are crazy. The iPod Touch, Gen 4 is the coolest technological gadget EVER. When fighting with one’s spouse, think of the cost of something before you slam it against the wall. And finally, it is never too late to become what you could have been.

I wish you all a prosperous and peaceful 2011.
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