Being told by one's mother to stay the hell away from her, that you are a (insert inappropriate curse word here) idiot and that she doesn’t care what you do from here on out would be upsetting to most folks. And while I was upset on May 31st when I was told these things by mine, I am unfortunately used to it. All of my life I have been at the mercy of her verbal berating. From being told I was a slut and a bitch in high school to being told that I should drive my car off the road because my son would be better off with her for a mother (in front of my son who was seven at the time) more recently, she’s always been like that. Now if it was just a simple matter of her hating me, well, I might be able to come to terms with that and let it go…but no. There are always sporadic stints of wonderful thrown in to make the not so wonderful fade until of course it happens again and I’m left to wonder what the hell I’ve done wrong…again. This time it all came down to furniture. She was unhappy with the way that I chose to use the dresser she gave me (Cameron) when Cameron was born. Please note – we purchased him brand new furniture when we moved in our new home, furniture which he threw a fit for. The dresser she gave us was in the spare room and well, that was just unacceptable. There’s more, of course. I don’t appreciate anything she does for me. Frankly, other than saying thank you (which I do) sending flowers (which I’ve done), and dedicating my first FREAKING novel to her, I really don’t know how I’m supposed to show said appreciation.
We’re not speaking right now, I told my dad that I couldn’t deal with her until she was off her pain meds (which I think she is addicted to and are making her extra special crazy) and we are just making concessions until school is over as she has watched my son up until this point. Clearly, that’s over now though. There are two sides to every story, I’m not perfect and I’m sure I’ve done something unforgivable at some point but I can promise you this folks, when she is old and alone and she realizes that she threw me away because of furniture she will regret it. But it will be too late then. Way too late.
A bond between a child and a mother is (most times) a strong one. The being pregnant and birthing a baby will do that. A bond may grow strong in these nine months and the formative years after, but it can be broken by the character of the parent (or/and child). Being there is a bond this progress will happen slowly. Everytime something nasty happen between child and parent a bit is chipped away. After a long time there will be not much left of said bond, and it will reach that point the relationship is severed. However it will leave the victim in the relationship scarred, which is horrible. Horrible as it may be it's for the best. By stop being the victim (by severing the relationship)with someones that abuse you, will give you the time to heal. Maybe in the future things may change, but it can never be the same.
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