I was born with congestive heart failure, did you know that?
The fourth chamber of my heart wasn’t formed and I almost died. They kept me in
the hospital waiting until I was strong enough for surgery and people were
praying for me around the clock, so I’ve been told. Then, one day, yep…you
guessed it…a miracle. My heart healed on its own. The fourth chamber is weaker
than the others. I had to have tests done every six months until I was five,
and wear an ID bracelet until I was 19. If you catch my mom in the right mood,
she’ll still cry telling the story. I also gave it the old college try myself
when I was seventeen, but alas, I never could cut a straight line.
My point? That’s twice. Twice that I cheated death, twice
that I was allowed to stay here instead of move on to wherever it is we go. As
grateful as you’re currently thinking I should be, what you’re ignoring is the
pressure that can put on a girl. You know, to do something great, be something
great. I thought I was on the right track for a while there, but here we are
and surprise, surprise, I’m not and I haven’t.
What a waste.
Like you I have faced death before and walked away each time. I had that same feeling of "Now I have to do something great". Then one day a strange thought hit me. What if I'm here to support someone else who will do something great? What if I'm here to rally someone else on when no one else could? That thought set me free. I spend my days doing good deeds and creating beauty where I can, waiting patiently for the day when I am ready to move on.
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