“So, I’m leaving,” I told her. “I am leaving this place and this life. There isn’t anything holding me here. Not anymore.”
“Wow, that is some deep shit,” she mused, making me laugh in spite of my misery. “I knew something was going on with you, you’ve been…different.”
“Yes, I’ve been delusional. That’s over now.”
“Could you be any denser?” she asked me. “You’ve been in denial. This pain you feel, this hurt, it’s called love. People say real love isn’t supposed to hurt. That’s bull shit. Real love will rip you apart, eat you for lunch, and spit out the pieces it didn’t like. Real love will tear you apart from the inside out and leave you for dead. And then by some miracle, it will put you back together and make everything right. But you’re not giving it the chance to do that. What you’re doing is giving up. I haven’t ever thought of you as a coward. Not once. Yet here you are, running away like a coward. Running away from what? From the beat of your heart?” She shifted her weight to her knees and scooted closer to me on the floor. I felt her hand on my chest and I looked up to meet her gaze. “You’ve been living this life that you thought was complete but it wasn’t. You fight these battles but you never really win them because battles are won or lost in the heart. Are you so ready to forfeit this battle, Andres? Damnit! At least don’t give up without a fight.”
“What am I supposed to do, Abby? It’s done. It’s over. I lost.”
“It’s not over until someone’s dead,” she said.
“Well…” I started to point out that I was technically already dead but she took her hand from my chest and slapped me on top of the head.
“You know what I mean…”
The part about real love, I don’t even know where that came from but I’ll be damned if it’s not the truth.
~Sarah’s Fate, 9/1/10