Tuesday, April 21, 2009
PULLED
Everyday, I feel like I am pulled in 500 different directions. My husband is just driving me crazy lately. It’s like I can’t make him happy but if I’m honest with myself, am I really trying? To make him happy would be to give up my writing time and folks, I’d rather get divorced. He gets up at four o’ clock in the morning and goes to the gym, wakes me up then, comes home at about six and takes a shower, wakes me up again but at this point I need to get up anyway and make my son’s lunch for school. Then my husband leaves and I am left to do everything on my own. Get my son ready, get myself ready, get him to school, me to work and he is just going about his merry way. In his defense, he does work two jobs and do the cooking so it’s not like I am alone in this but then at night, he wants to go to “bed” soon after our son does. And I want to stay up and write. But Lord knows if I don’t go to “bed” with him he is going to pout like a five-year- old. It’s just really driving me crazy. I do love him, just sometimes life gets in the way. My Son..actually, he’s pretty perfect. He is very much a boy, into everything and rough..but he loves me more than my husband ever will. Hell, he loves me more than my husband will ever love ANYONE! So..as you can see, I’m having a bad morning. I did get a request for some pages last night of Emmy’s Song and write about 1500K words on True North so things are not as bad as they seem.
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I am very new to the writing scene (just started in January). I was reading your blog and saw the comment about "bed". My favorite hours of the day are after my kids are in bed and they don't need anything from me. Unfortunately (for both of us) that's my time with my husband. And now that I'm writing, I'm torn between the two. I love my husband dearly and do hate to neglect him but I love that free time for me--(how selfish I sound--ugh). For what it's worth, you have my sympathy.
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