See your scars as proof that you made it…not evidence that you almost didn’t.

Friday, December 23, 2011

True North; pages 42-46

This is one of my favorite parts of the book. Sahar and Cameron have their first big fight and we meet Dean, who, if I'm being honest, is my favorite character of all. ;)

“Cameron,” I called to him, “Cameron, hey wait up!” His pace never slowed and I had to run full sprint to catch up to him. My calls must have been lost in the wind and that was why he didn’t wait for me. It had to be.

He stopped and spun around, reaching out to grab my arms before I could put them around him. “Sahar, what are you doing?” he asked in a sharp tone.

“I…well, I saw you walking. I’ve called you a million times today, where have you been?”

“My daily whereabouts are none of your concern. I didn’t call you back because I didn’t want to talk to you.” His voice waivered on the last word. Anger? Was he mad at me?

“Have I done something to upset you?” I asked, stepping backward and away from his grasp on my arms.

“No…yes…no… It doesn’t matter. Look, we can’t be together okay. I’m sorry if I made you think we could, but we can’t.”

It wasn’t normal. The way I was feeling, as if his words were a sharp knife that continued to serrate my soul, in long slow movements, dragging out the pain. He kissed me. That was it. There wasn’t a profession of affection or devotion. It was just a kiss. My rational mind was aware of this. My rational mind was telling him that was fine and I didn’t care, to have a nice life. But there wasn’t anything rational about what I felt for him. So my irrational mind won out and I started to cry.

“But why? I don’t understand.” I sniffled and blotted my nose with my shirtsleeve. Attractive.

His demeanor softened at the sight of the tears and he ran his hands through his dark hair. “I don’t want to hurt you, okay. I don’t want anything to ever hurt you. It’s better this way.”

“Too late for that.” Now I was angry. What kind of cockamamie line was that? I don’t want anything to ever hurt you. “Fine,” I said through clenched teeth. “Good luck with the pack. I’m sure that dead body won’t stir up any trouble.” Okay, yes, I know my dad had told me not to say anything, but if you recall, I already mentioned that my rational mind had taken a hike.

He froze. I mean, stopped breathing froze and stared at me, his mouth agape as if he wanted to say something, but had come down with a sudden case of laryngitis.
“Whatever.” I turned and walked away from him. He was still standing like that when I glanced back at him over my shoulder. Good. Served him right.

Night had fallen and the streetlights were on. A soft glow from the storefront windows illuminated the sidewalk as I fought the strong winds walking back to my car. I had to lean into it and therefore did not see the body standing beside the car I was parked next to.

“Oh, I’m so sor…” Oh. My. God. My gaze traveled up the broad frame to meet black eyes that were alive with amusement. “I…I didn’t…”

He laughed, an easy going laugh that made me smile. “It’s all right,” he said. “It was just as much my fault as it was yours, I was looking down.” He kicked the tire of the car he was standing next to and I saw that it was flat as a pancake.

“Do you need a ride?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. I knew this must be Dean. Small town, remember. And he fit the H-O-T description Rachel had given me. Of course I didn’t know anything about him other than the physical reaction my body was having looking at his gorgeous features that rivaled any famous movie star I had ever seen, but what the heck. I dared a look over my shoulder, searching the night for Cameron, but he had vanished.

“Hey, that would actually be great, as long as you aren’t some serial killer or something,” he said.

“I was just hoping the same thing about you. I’m Sahar North. It’s nice to meet you.” I held out my hand and he took it in his, but just held it instead of shaking.
“I know who you are. Dean Anderson, nice to meet ya. That’s really a cool name, I’ve never heard it.”

“Thanks, it’s sort of a family name,” I told him.

He didn’t let go of my hand and I thought about pulling away, but didn’t want to be rude so I just stood there, feeling the warmth of his skin on mine.

“We should get going,” I told him, gently pulling my hand away to grab the car door in a surreptitious manner. “I didn’t expect to work today and need to get home before my dad does.”

I held the passenger side door of the Camry open and he slid in. What are you doing, I asked myself as I walked behind the car to the driver’s side. This was perhaps the single most reckless thing I had ever done. Hey, hot guy, I don’t know, hop on in my car and let’s drive down these dark roads. Ughh.

“Where to?” I asked him once inside and buckled. I knew where he lived, the house on Grover Street, but I couldn’t let him know that. He would think I was some kind of stalker or something.

“896 Grover Street. Do you know where that is?”

“Yeah, sure.” Awkward silence followed. Well, awkward for me. Dean seemed perfectly content with his long legs stretched as far as they could go and his arms pulled back behind his head. I turned the radio on to fill the quiet. My mom was the last person in the car and it was set to an easy listening station.

“Nice tunes,” he said, a note of humor in his voice. “Maybe we can swing by the bingo game over at the rec hall.”

“Sorry, this isn’t really my kind of music,” I told him frantically flipping for something with a beat. “This isn’t my car, I just turned sixteen and don’t have my own car yet.”

He looked over at me, “Huh, you sure look older than sixteen. I guess that means you’ll be going to TNH then?”

“Yeah, junior year for me. What about you?”

“Senior. Finally. I only need one math credit to graduate, then it’s so long to parental domination and hello to my freedom in college.”

“You don’t like your parents?” I asked him, turning on Grover Street. My foot eased off the gas. What was the speed limit on this road anyway?

“It’s just me and my dad and he’s okay, I’m just sick of moving. We move all the time. He works for the government as an environmentalist. They send him all over, testing the ground and shit. Needless to say I’ve been to every rural, nothing town in these here United States. No offense.”

“None taken,” I assured him.

“This is me,” he said, pointing to the driveway off the main road that I was already heading to. It had been a while since I’d come this way, the house was spooky looking in the dark. “Hey, it was nice to meet you, Sahar. I’ll see you on Tuesday. Who the hell starts school on a Tuesday anyway?” He laughed at his own joke and hopped out of the car.

I saw him throw a backward wave as he danced up his driveway to some song he had begun to sing. I think it was something about a bad moon? He seemed to be in an awfully good mood for your average run of the mill I-hate-my-parents-and-can’t-wait-to-get-out-of-here teenager.

He was odd.
I liked him.
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Cameron & Sahar


True North
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Friday, December 16, 2011

Time to Write

I am officially suffering from Literary Schizophrenia. I think I need an intervention. How have I come to such conclusions you ask? Let’s look at the facts, shall we? Currently I am writing:

FireFlys – 66,000
The Lady, The Lake, and The Locket – 23,791 words
Timeless Love – 7,590 words
Dreams – 1,940 words
Be Nice Nerina (Short Story) – 955 words
True North #2 (East) – 765 words

That is a lot of words. Completely…useless…words. One of those could very well be the one. You know, the one that allows me to break out of this mundane life and be a ‘professional’ author – as in, get paid enough to consider it my full-time job. *Sigh* I don’t think it will ever happen, but I can’t give up. I saw this movie once where these people were trapped in this maze and they finally just sat down, giving up, and died. Little did they know that the exit was right around the corner so if they’d just given it that extra ‘umph’ they would have made it. I believe it’s time for me to give it some extra ‘umph’ and finish a damn book. Any suggestions? Lady, Lake, Locket was my Nano idea and when I randomly closed my eyes and pointed to one, that was the winner, but I just can’t seem to get going with it. There is drama in my life (shocker) so perhaps that’s why. I’m so emotionally drained at night that all I want to do is lie in bed with the covers over my head and cry. The only thing to do, is to just make up my mind to do it. Right? Yes, no need to respond. I know I’m right.

So here we go. Here’s the ‘umph’: I will write 1K words a day until I’m done. Not edit. Not revise. Write. Word goal, 60K. Are you with me? Ready? Set… Go!






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Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Hunger Games






My friend Alissa told me to read The Hunger Games three months ago. “I need to do that,” I would tell her. I guess I was hesitant because I don’t like dystopia AND I felt they were only popular because Stephenie Meyer promoted them. Well, when my husband bought me my Kindle Fire (Which I FREAKING love) I had a free month of Prime so I ‘rented’ it from the Kindle Library. No great loss if I hated it, right? Ummkay, let me just say right now Alissa was right and I should have listened to my friend who knows me very well. Oh.My.God. From the moment Katniss took Prim’s spot I was hooked. The way it was written, you could hear the desperation in her voice through the words…amazing. I’m 100% Team Peeta and don’t know how anyone could be team Gale. He’s cute and all and Peta is amazing and has clearly been in love with her for years. Unless Gale pulls out some unexpected move of awesomeness, I’m Team Peeta all the way!
I’m halfway through the second book right now. They are, in a way, better than Twilight. I KNOW, I know… Eclipse is still my favorite book of ever in the history of ever, but these books make you think. Sometimes, I’ll read something the Capitol has done and literally look around for someone to agree with me about the injustice of it all. Could we ever allow this to happen? Would we EVER allow such a thing? Throughout history times of great change have been brought upon by one person standing up and saying, ‘No. This isn’t right, I’m not gonna do it, and I don’t care what you do to me.’  It only takes one brave soul, and usually people will overcome their fear of persecution with what’s right. But what if we didn’t? What if we were so beaten down by a government that we were too scared to do anything? Or even worse, what if some of us sat by allowing these things to happen to millions of others?
Um. Hey. Isn’t that kind of happening right now?  Smaller scale, less broad of a spectrum, but still. We’re far, far away from subjecting our children to a fight to the death but if we don’t make a stand soon, who knows where we’ll end up.
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Thursday, November 24, 2011

HAPPY BOOK BIRTHDAY TO TANGLED TIDES!


Karen Amanda Hooper’s young adult novel, TANGLED TIDES, is officially being released into the world today Well, it's actually being released tomorrow, November 25, 2011 but I'm so excited for her I wanted to go ahead and get the post up! Lots of you are up and starting your Black Friday shopping; I can assure you, the literary lover in your life will shout with joy should they receive this amazing book in their stocking!
 I’m joining the celebration by fighting in the war--the underwater web war between the sea creatures!
Karen’s story contains battling merfolk, selkies, sirens and gorgons. She says she loves all of them, but she wants everyone else to choose a side, so…


                                                            

I CHOOSE SIRENS!
 


Wanna learn more or join in on the fun? Go check out the details at Karen’s blog: http://karenamandahooper.blogspot.com/

Karen is giving away a signed copy of her book and some other sea creature themed prizes. To enter, join the underwater web war on Twitter. Tweet which sea creatures you’re rooting for and why. Include the hashtag #TangledTides and you could win.

Karen will be on Twitter all day celebrating and answering questions, so stop by and say hello. @Karen_Hooper 

Summary of the story:
Yara Jones doesn’t believe in sea monsters—until she becomes one.

When a hurricane hits her island home and she wakes up with fins, Yara finds herself tangled up in an underwater world of mysterious merfolk and secretive selkies. Both sides believe Yara can save them by fulfilling a broken promise and opening the sealed gateway to their realm, but they are battling over how it should be done. The selkies want to take her life. The merfolk want something far more precious.

Treygan, the stormy-eyed merman who turned Yara mer, will stop at nothing and sacrifice everything to protect his people—until he falls for Yara. The tides turn as Yara fights to save herself, hundreds of sea creatures, and the merman who has her heart. She could lose her soul in the process—or she might open the gateway to a love that’s deeper than the oceans.



Linkage:
Rhemalda Bookstore: http://tiny.cc/BuyTangledTides

Barnes & Noble:

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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Breaking Dawn

First of all, I’d like to apologize for taking so long to write this. Since it has almost been a week since I first saw the movie, this should have been done this weekend.


I’m sure most of you know the basic plot. Marriage-pregnancy-Jacob-Imprinting-Bella the Vampire. The movie literally ends at the end of the first chapter of Bella’s second section, and I’m so glad they made the decision to break it up. Whoever is responsible for the makeup needs to get an Oscar or Golden Globe or something that says you’re awesome because at one point the I leaned over to Maria the first time I saw it and whispered, “Oh my God, do you think they’re gonna let her die?” Kristen…and for the record I take back everything negative I’ve ever said about her…did an AH-MAZING job. There was this moment where you could see her go from ‘holy crap, I’m pregnant’ to ‘I will kill you if you harm this child.’ I could see it all over her face. That may be an element some of the younger fans miss out on, but as a mother, I really appreciated it.




(Maria and I at the Sneak Peak on Wednesday)




So overall the movie was amazing. I cried and screamed at the screen with the abruptness of the ending, and am thoroughly aggravated at Summit for making me wait a FREAKING year for part two.













(Left - My sister and I on the way in the car; Right – My sister and I waiting in line for the midnight showing)



Now here is, to me, the truly amazing part that I still can’t get over. There were a lot of good songs on the soundtrack and before I saw the movie I thought for sure A Thousand Years by Christina Perri would be the main love theme. But it’s not. Edward and Bella’s song, and I mean their song forever from the moment they met we just didn’t know it then, is this song called, Turning Page by Sleeping At Last. I’ve never heard of them, the song, even passed the song up on the soundtrack as just another pretty tune. When you listen to the words of this song, which is literally about a story of love, it couldn’t be more fitting.

 
“…your love is my turning page,
where only the sweetest words remain.
every kiss is a cursive line,
every touch is a redefining phrase…

I surrender who I've been for who you are,
for nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart.
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours,
well, I would have known what I've been living for all along.
What I've been living for…”

 
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? How, HOW I ASK YOU, have I not heard this song before? WHY are there not any fan videos on YouTube with this song? (Well, there may be now) I’m sure you’re aware of my connection to music, especially if you’ve read The Maldito Series. For me, there is always music; on the radio, the sounds of the world moving to the beat of my heart, the song in my head. This is one of those songs that will become a part of you, that can move and inspire you, just the way Twilight can. “Words can change your mood but add a little music and they can move your very soul.” ~ Me



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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

For once, I’m happy to have failed

I’m sure most of you know that I tried to kill myself when I was a senior in high school. It was a messy affair and I was taken away from school in a police car to the hospital where I was tied down – because that is apparently what they do to folks who have decided it’s too painful to continue living, they tie them down – and left in a room. My father was the first person to get there. I can’t for the life of me remember his expression or if he seemed upset, but I do remember the first words that came out of his mouth. He looked at me and said, “Well, girl, are you sorry now?” My response? Because even then it was imperative that I conduct myself with as much drama as possible I replied, “I’m sorry it didn’t work,” and turned my head to the wall so he wouldn’t see me cry.

Whoa, that was kinda heavy, even for me typing it out. But I have a point. The date of this little event in my life, though I had forgotten the exact date until recently, was November 18, 1996.

I’ll pause to let that sink in.

NOVEMBER 18th. Do you know what’s happening exactly fifteen years to the day that I tried to remove myself from this world over some high school BULL SHIT? Breaking Dawn is being released. Hey! Don’t roll your eyes at me. You’re clearly missing the point here. The point is, I can’t even begin to fathom all of the amazingly, wonderful things I would have missed if it had worked.

Sometimes the clouds cover the sun and we forget how beautiful things can be. Things are gray; they lose their luster and their shine and all we see and feel are the bad. The thing about clouds though, is they never stay in the same spot too long. Ever. They always fall apart or move along with the wind and when they do, wow things are bright! That’s how it was for me. Life, as it turned out, wasn’t so bad. I can’t tell you how sorry I feel for those people who continuously reminisce about high school. There was a line in I Am Number 4, “He’s in the third year of the best four years of his life.” When you think that an average life spans over eighty+ years that is a sad, sad thought. Twilight came along when I was about twenty-eight or twenty-nine and once again, things got a little brighter. Finishing my first novel, Emmy’s Song was in direct response to the words ‘The End’ at the back of Breaking Dawn. Four published novels later I just marvel at the world and how it sparkles (hehe) with possibilities for the rest of my hopefully very long life.

The pain I felt at that time in my life was very, very real. The love I felt then was very, very real. But what was exaggerated was the feeling of forever, or perhaps just such little knowledge of how long forever really was. If you know a teenager who is hurting, don’t discredit what they feel. Don’t tell them they’re just young and this will pass, and blahh, blahh, blahh. Tell them…about me. Tell them that if I had let those four years take away the rest of my life I would have never had Twilight and really, whose life is complete without a little Twilight? =)

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