Real Love

I don’t know what the process is for other writers. I don’t know if they plan every word, every situation, but I don’t. In the beginning, I didn’t even outline. Christopher said I should make one, just so I know what I want to accomplish in each chapter. That was probably the best writing advice I’ve had to date. That and to put your work away for a week before you proof it. Anywho, when I am writing, especially dialogue, it is literally a movie in my head. I don’t know what the characters are going to say to each other, it just comes out…pours out sometimes. Here is what came today that I read back and was like, yeah, that’s good shit. LoL Set up – Sarah has just found out that Andres is not who has been saying he is and he didn’t have the guts to tell her the truth so he just let her walk out of his life. His best friend and business partner Abby has walked in on him having a mental breakdown and here is her advice:

“So, I’m leaving,” I told her. “I am leaving this place and this life. There isn’t anything holding me here. Not anymore.”
“Wow, that is some deep shit,” she mused, making me laugh in spite of my misery. “I knew something was going on with you, you’ve been…different.”
“Yes, I’ve been delusional. That’s over now.”
“Could you be any denser?” she asked me. “You’ve been in denial. This pain you feel, this hurt, it’s called love. People say real love isn’t supposed to hurt. That’s bull shit. Real love will rip you apart, eat you for lunch, and spit out the pieces it didn’t like. Real love will tear you apart from the inside out and leave you for dead. And then by some miracle, it will put you back together and make everything right. But you’re not giving it the chance to do that. What you’re doing is giving up. I haven’t ever thought of you as a coward. Not once. Yet here you are, running away like a coward. Running away from what? From the beat of your heart?” She shifted her weight to her knees and scooted closer to me on the floor. I felt her hand on my chest and I looked up to meet her gaze. “You’ve been living this life that you thought was complete but it wasn’t. You fight these battles but you never really win them because battles are won or lost in the heart. Are you so ready to forfeit this battle, Andres? Damnit! At least don’t give up without a fight.”
“What am I supposed to do, Abby? It’s done. It’s over. I lost.”
“It’s not over until someone’s dead,” she said.
“Well…” I started to point out that I was technically already dead but she took her hand from my chest and slapped me on top of the head.
“You know what I mean…”

The part about real love, I don’t even know where that came from but I’ll be damned if it’s not the truth.

~Sarah’s Fate, 9/1/10

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Yeah, I'm kind of in love.

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That, is a freaking lot.

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The Ramblings of a Mad Writer

I am writing. I swear. I now have two windows open and one contains my almost halfway finished novel, the other this blog that will consist of my rambling thoughts. Sarah, the main character in the last installment of the Maldito series, refuses to listen to me. Like, she just keeps showing up in places she shouldn’t be. Shall I explain? I am writing a duel, 1st person POV thing with Sarah as an MC and Andres as the other. I have (had) a chapter by chapter outline and it clearly stated that in Chapter 10 (Andres) Sarah was NOT to be in it at all and yet she shows up at the bar Andres is at, tracking down bad guys, because he didn’t call her back. This, as you can imagine, makes it very difficult for me because God knows I can never hit the backspace key unless my editor tells me to. Like... well… here read this. *Warning*, speaking of my lovely editor, she is yet to see this so shhhhh, I don’t want to hear about the commas. I hate them. She puts them in later.

I was about to turn and leave when I caught sight of her. I felt sick, upset, furious, and hysterical all in the same moment. Stupid human emotions, I thought remembering why I didn’t miss having them. She was standing beside the bar, overtly flirting with the bartender who was eyeing her as if she were a piece of meat. Her hair was different, cut in a short style that exposed her long neck. One side was tucked precariously behind her ear. My God, she was beautiful. I stalked over to her, very nearly knocking several people over in my haste.
“What are you doing here?” I asked her though my clenched teeth.

Though her smile never faltered, I could see the flash of hurt across her face. She took my tone as annoyance, or something of the sort. I rushed to correct her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way,” I began. I was yelling. One had to yell to be heard over the music, but it was still only loud enough for her to hear.

She cut me off, managing to be heard by not only myself but quite a few people in the area. “Well, if you would ever call anyone the hell back I wouldn’t have to beg Abby to tell me where you were but never mind. I can see I’ve made a mistake.”

She flew past me, heading for the door. I would not chase after her. I needed to stay where I was. I wasn’t any closer to finding out about the vamp changing people in my city, or the human trafficking than I had been on Sunday when I witnessed the disgusting scene. Keen’s was the common connection. I was sure of it. Turning my body away from her, I leaned on the counter. And stayed there for a solid three seconds.

Damn this infernal woman.

See what I’m saying? She wasn’t supposed to be there. Reading that back, I don’t like the part about the human trafficking. It’s not flowing right. That’s what it is though. Anyone know a better way to say that? Ughh.

On a personal note, I find myself rather stable in my life. Generally happy and content. While this is good for my soul, it has been reeking havoc on my ability to write. Go figure. Once this book is done, I am going to finish Fireflys I think. Or perhaps Gemini. That one is going to be good. I’ll really have to plan that one though. And since Courtney is the main character of that one (and Timeless Love) she will HAVE to listen to me. Hehehehehehehe.

Sia, My Love. Listen to it. Right now. That is all. ~night~

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Eclipse Review....

Let me start off by saying this is just the opinion of one girl and I am aware that others may feel differently. Opinions welcome.

Overall, I would give Eclipse 3 out of 5 stars. The movie alone was good. The effects were great, the action was edge of your seat, and the romance was steamy. But as a movie based on my favorite book ever, in the history of EVER, it fell flat for me. The first fifteen minutes of the movie covers the first twelve chapters of the book. To me, it was rushed and they didn’t allow the dynamics between Bella, Edward, and Jacob to build as much as they could have. They left out the first ‘bed scene’ and that is one of my favorite parts of the book. Also, it is impossible to watch this movie and not fall in love with Jacob. He is totally different in the book, almost like a whiney, annoying little kid. In the movie, he is funny, suave, debonair, and oh...so…HOT. They very much downplay Edward and his compassion and utter admiration towards Bella. I never once faltered in the series, Team Edward 100%. Watching the movies, I’m Team Jacob, or maybe it’s Team Taylor. That would make more sense.

At the end of the day, I am and always will be a fan of the series but I am not particularly happy with the commercialization of it all. They have gotten away from the heart of the matter and that is the love between Bella and Edward. All of the other stuff that happens is just background noise. Her words, the words that Stephenie wrote in that book, are what moved me to my core and what will stay in my heart for the rest of my life. I like seeing the characters represented on the big screen but they haven’t lived up to the beautiful love story that played in my head when I read the books. Here’s hoping Breaking Dawn will be better.

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New York, New York

I’m sitting in the window seal of my hotel room on the thirty-second floor of The Grand Hyatt in New York. The window opens just enough to let the noise from the streets and a small breeze come through and I feel the wind blow my hair while I listen to the horns honk.





It is my first trip to New York.

I had to work in the office all day today but yesterday Maria took me all over the city, to Central Park and on about fifteen different subways. This is her town. It reminds me of her even though she had to leave today. The fast pace, the drive. Everything about the city makes me think of her.



The weather is perfect. It feels like Florida during a cool snap in March. Crisp air with just enough of a chill to make the hair on your arms stand up. And the wind! I didn’t think there would be any wind but it whips around the buildings constantly blowing. I haven’t been overly impressed with the food and would probably let someone pull one of my fingernails out right about now for a glass of sweet tea and a slawdog but I will not leave without having some authentic New York cheese cake…damnit. I did, however, have the best time ever last night singing karaoke with the CMO of my company. Grease, Summer Loven. Oh yeah.

I’m having a good time but I could never live here. I’m a country girl at heart, wide open spaces and all that. I love falling asleep to the sound of a whippoorwill and waking to the morning sun peaking in over the trees. I like people that say “yes ma’am” when you ask them a question and “I’m sorry” when they run into you. I like dirt roads and bugs. A very wise (and handsome) man once said to me, “you have to be happy where you live and everything else will fall into place.” He speaks the truth. When I board the plane home tomorrow, I’ll be going back to what makes me happy. I’m sure I’ll be back, NYC. Try not to miss this country girl too much.

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Inventory - take 2

STOP. Before you continue, it is imperative that you read this or you will not understand a word I’m saying. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

http://christytrujillo.blogspot.com/2009/06/inventory.html

The question is… “Who am I?” The answer is of course very simple and was there all along. I am…me. The problem wasn’t that I didn’t know who I was, it’s that I didn’t like who I was. There was this person that would stare back at me from the mirror and I would cringe. You’re ugly, you’re stupid, you’re nothing, I would tell the girl. She never fought back and the abuse continued. Then the girl would foolishly turn to those around her and expect them to fix her. Being “Their daughter, her friend, his girlfriend, his wife, his mom” was just an excuse to avoid being the only thing I could be which was and is, MYSELF. Since this post I have published two novels and am currently finishing the third in my series. Fate has been a very large part of these books and somewhere in between Emmy’s Heart and the first few chapters of Sarah’s Fate I managed to find Christy’s courage. The courage to look within myself for happiness because, honey, the only person that can make you happy…I mean truly happy, is you. And before you can love someone else…I mean truly love them, you have to learn to love yourself. And I have. Do I still have my days? Of course. I’m still a girl. But now when I look around me I see my parents, and my BFF, and my honey, and my son and I am happy.

For my 31st birthday I have decided to get a tattoo of the word believe over the scar on my wrist. Why believe? Because that’s all we have. The only thing that cannot be taken away from us is our ability and capacity to believe. Believe in fate, in God, in love, in unicorns, in vampires. Without that, without something to hold onto and believe in, what are we? What do we have but empty spaces inside of us longing to be filled? So now when I’m brushing my teeth or putting on my Twilight bracelet I won’t see a scar. I’ll see my husband’s face, and my son’s smile. I’ll hear Maria laughing and Courtney talking in her funny guy voice, (you really should hear that, it’s hilarious) and think the words ‘published author’ because at the end of the day, I believe in me.

I will never forget my first love or the pain I felt and I’m glad. Because without that, without everything I’ve been through, what the hell would I write about? ;)

Hi, I’m Christy. I’m a published author with a “gift for tense and revealing dialogue” (I didn’t write that, it’s from a review of Emmy’s Heart) and more stories to tell. I’m the mother of a great kid and the wife of a very hardworking man. I’m friends with some amazing girls (and guys) and am happy to say, have stopped abusing the girl in the mirror. It's nice to meet you.



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