The Affect Someone Can Have

It is utterly incomprehensible to me the affect that one single person can have on your life. We go along, meandering though our existence, and then ‘they’ are there. They change things, maybe the way you look at things, or the way you feel about things, but they change you. Inside. Your life swivels this way and that, as they become your sun, your center. Or maybe, they are just there when you need them. When you are sad and need some positive reinforcement and encouragement. But still, your life is changed. Forever altered by the fingerprint they have left on you. No, this doesn’t have to be someone you are romantically involved with. It doesn’t even have to be someone… real. As long as they are real to you. Sometimes they become permanent additions to your life and sometimes they are meant to be a passing star, only staying long enough to leave us a little of their light for our own dark journeys. Fate. That’s all I can say. Fate has a plan, and we may veer off course with the choices we make but she will call us back to the path we are meant for, even if she has to use those around us to do it. In case you are wondering, my path is to be a writer, and I will write of you.

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For the love of books...

I think I have been looking at this whole ‘being an author sucks because no one will ever say these things to me’ thing the wrong way. Yeah, I’m pretty positive that no one is ever going to chase me down and run my car off the road to profess their love to me while Angel by Aerosmith plays in the background but you know, that’s okay. Because at least, I have my daydreams right. And you know what? Every female character I write is me. There’s just no getting around that. And I don’t know if that’s normal or not but it is what it is for me. I tried to write from someone else’s point of view and it just didn’t work. And with a good book, a really good book, you are always that character in your head. Okay, well, I am. And it’s recently been pointed out and proven to me that I’m not even close to normal. So, again, maybe that’s just me but I’m okay with that. So in essence, all of these things are happening to me. All of these wonderful things are being said to me. Some people go their whole lives and never hear these things and weren’t blessed with the imagination and creativity I was to hear them in my head and then construct a beautiful story around them to share with others. I...am lucky, as it turns out. I am lucky that I can experience these things and have these memories in my heart. I am lucky that no matter how many times I’m hurt, I don’t close myself off to love and what it can really do for you. Is fate real? You better believe it honey, and it swirls around me, throwing my long brown hair in three different directions every time I sit down at my computer to write. So, that is what I will do. Write. And if by chance, someone ever does happen to say any of these things to me, sing to me, love me like this, well, then that’s just a bonus.



Have a great day everyone! =)

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Who am I to say?

Who am I to say anything? Who am I to say what I want, what I need? Who am I to say if I can live without you? Who am I? I’m just me.

Who Am I to Say by Hope

Love of my life, my soulmate
You're my best friend
Part of me like breathing
Now half of me is left

I don't know anything at all
Who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
& who am I to say you need me

Color me blue I'm lost in you
Don't know why I'm still waiting
Many moons have come & gone
Don't know why I'm still searching

Don't know anything at all
& who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
& who am I to say you need me

Now you're a song I love to sing
Never thought it feels so free
Now I know what's meant to be
& that's okay with me
Don't know anything at all
& who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
& who am I to say you need me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGzHl0u9EsI

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Soul Mate

I read once that the notion of a soul mate comes from Greek mythology. “Originally humans were combined of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spending their lives searching for the other half to complete them.” I don’t know if I buy it. I want to. I want to feel like there is that one person who can make you feel complete and fulfilled but I just…don’t. Love is too fickle. Too many things can change over the years, over the course of your relationship with another to depend on someone else for that. We need to complete ourselves and then if someone else wants to be the icing on our perfectly baked cake, then sure. Why the hell not? I asked a few people if they bought the whole soul mate thing. It was about 50/50 to be honest. My logical friends, the ones that don’t cry at movies or believe in fairytales of course said no. My other friends, the ones that are usually more like me, dreamers…passionate…hopeful… they all said yes, without a doubt. I don’t know if I’m with them on this one. We come into this world alone and we leave alone. Perhaps, that’s how it was meant to be. We should rest in the harbor of our own souls and hearts, not interfering with others. We shouldn’t be taught that someone will love us with a love so strong it can stand the test of time, because we won’t. We shouldn’t trust our emotions because they are foolish and we shouldn’t listen to our heart because it is blind. Though, if given the choice between being a calm harbor or an ever sailing ship searching for her captain, I think I would take my chances at sea. Yes, the water is rough at times and nights at sea can be lonely but what is a ship for if not to sail? And what is a heart for if not to love? I don’t know if the concept of a soul mate is something to believe in or not, but love and the ability to give and receive it is. My sister read my palm and told me I have two soul mates out there somewhere. Maybe one day…they will find me or maybe, just maybe, they have already sailed past me.

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'About Me'

My name is Christina Lee Ralaine Babich Trujillo. No, I didn’t legally keep the Babich but I’m my daddy’s daughter, that’s for sure. People say I’m a little crazy. If they mean crazy as in, not afraid to say what she thinks or ask for what she wants, then yeah, I’m a little crazy. I’m a published author with Devine Destinies out of Canada. The first two books in my series are currently available through Devine Destinies/Amazon/Fictionwise and some other random ebook websites I’ve never heard of. The final book will be out fall 2010. I work for a major staffing firm as a Sales Coordinator and I love my job though I would happily give it up to be a full-time author. Though I am friends with everyone, it is rare that I truly connect with anyone. My brain works on a different frequency than most. You listen to music and hear.. music. I hear the soothing melodies wound around words that cut my soul in half. You read a book and it’s..words. I read a book and my subconscious falters and the line between fiction and reality blurs leaving me breathless and gripping for dry land. If I have loved you, I will love you forever. Even if I tell you that I don’t anymore, even if I tell you I hate you, it’s a lie. Once I have given my love, I cannot rescind the offer, though I wish I could sometimes. In the same token, if you have been on the unfortunate receiving end of my actual and total hate, you will never redeem yourself and it is best to just leave me be. I am a touchy-feely person and hug people I just meet. It doesn’t take a lot to hurt my feelings but it takes a hell of a lot to make up for it once you have. I love my cats. I long to be… content. (See Chase’s blog for the reference) I believe in vampires. That is all. Ask me if you want to know anything else. I'll tell you.

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In another life..

In another life, we are happy. In another life, things are bright and the sky is always blue, even at night. If tears come, they are tears of joy and shared by all. If words are spoken, they are out of love and from the heart.

In another life, you caught me when I fell and I never hit the ground. My body was never broken; my heart still beats and does not lie motionless at my feet.

In another life, your smile can call the angels and they sit with us under the endless blue sky. They laugh with us and we know that nothing will ever change the way things are.

In another life, it wasn’t so hard to find peace in a chaotic soul. The world moves together, the ocean is her melody, the sky is her harmony, and we were all born knowing the words. We sing at the top of our lungs, unafraid and unashamed, and we are one.

In another life, you love me, and all is right with the world. But that is another life.

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Things I have come to realize

Yeah, I’m a little crazy. Whatever.

No one will ever make me go “awwww” with words that they say to me. It’s just not going to happen. I need to let it go.

There are certain desires I have that will never EVER be satisfied.

God sent Maria to me to keep me from diving my car off of the road.

I will never be happy with my hair. I complain when it is short, I complain when it is long.

Even though my eyes are not green or blue, they are pretty.

If you are not an NYT best selling author, you will never get real credit for being an author.

Not everyone is like me, and it’s a damn shame.

It’s better in Bryceville. Sorry, but it is.

When I really love someone, I love them forever. (This sucks, btw)

When I really hate someone, I hate them forever. (This, I’m okay with)

I don’t like candy harts.

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